


We're Not Really Strangers

by blessedobjectivity



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Stiles Stilinski, Card Games, Coming Out, Derek is 24, F/M, M/M, Mention of the Hale fire, Mostly Canon Compliant, Road Trips, Slow Burn, So many emotions, Stiles is 18, lots of emotions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24904063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blessedobjectivity/pseuds/blessedobjectivity
Summary: “I’m driving, Stiles.”Stiles rolled his eyes as he began to look at the instructions. “You can still play while you’re driving. It’s mostly just answering questions.”Derek considered this for a moment. Talking wasn’t exactly what he had in mind when he suggested Stiles find something to occupy himself with. But he does feel bad for him, and he can’t really take the constant switching of radio stations any longer. Derek knows that he’s worried about Scott and the pack and getting there in time to help. With Stiles riding shotgun, he’s got nothing to distract him. So, Derek gives in.“Okay.”Surprised, Stiles turns his head to Derek, “Really? Okay cool, yeah.” Stiles picks up the game and reads“We’re Not Really Strangers is a purpose driven card game and movement all about empowering meaningful connections. Three carefully crafted levels of questions and wildcards allow you to deepen your existing relationships and create new ones.”
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 31
Kudos: 141





	1. Level 1 – Perception

**Author's Note:**

> Because Jeff never gave us the Sterek we deserved, here’s my take on what happened on the way back to Beacon Hills at the end of 6b after Stiles rescued Derek/Derek rescued Stiles. Let’s be honest, they rescued each other.
> 
> Initially inspired by this [TikTok](https://www.tiktok.com/@capri.scum/video/6830459180155964678?source=h5_t) about the game We’re Not Really Strangers. I took some liberties with the game so things may not be 100% accurate since I've never actually played. 
> 
> Lastly, a HUGE shout out to my incredibly brilliant, amazing, and creative friend Megan for helping me bring these ideas to life in true Sterek fashion.

“Derek, you’ve been driving for the past _six hours_ and we still have another five ahead of us before we get into Beacon Hills. I swear to god I am going to lose my mind if you don’t let me drive soon,” Stiles exclaimed. 

So far, the two had spent thirty-five hours in the car over the past two days, only stopping for gas, food, and a motel each night. Stiles has spent about thirty of those hours trying to convince Derek to let him drive.

“No,” Derek replied casually, eyes never lifting from the road.

“Derek, come on! I rescued you from the goddamn FBI and I don’t even get to drive the Camaro as a thank you?”

“ _You_ rescued _me_?” Derek scoffed, “I’m pretty sure I’m the one who ended up doing the rescuing, Stiles.”

“Are you completely forgetting the fact that the FBI was planning a SWAT assault to take you dead or alive? Dead, Derek. If I hadn’t convinced them to take me on the field op, your little werewolf ass would’ve been dead.” 

Derek weighed his response. He could point out that Stiles just admitted to thinking about his ass, which would lead to an amusing and flustered Stiles. However, Derek settled for something more provoking, “So, how’s your toe feeling?”

“Absolutely obliterated, thank you for the reminder. But that does not change anything! You needed me to get you out of there alive. If I hadn’t been there, you wouldn’t have been able to get out undetected. Therefore, I did the rescuing – I am the rescuer.” Stiles will not have his totally heroic Derek-saving moment tarnished by some trigger-happy FBI agent. He will not.

Derek decided to let Stiles have this one. For now, at least. The truth is, even though Derek ended up rescuing him, he was grateful that Stiles found him and still cared enough to try to save him in the first place. Down in South America, Derek convinced himself that Beacon Hills was his past. The fact that he missed Argent and McCall’s pack couldn’t erase the pain he felt being there alongside constant reminders of his gravest mistakes. 

Back at the warehouse, Derek had caught Stiles’ scent before he actually saw the boy. He remembers feeling surprised, confused, and worried by the familiar scent, yet a wave of calm seemed to rush over him once he recognized it. _Home_ is all Derek remembers thinking about before he set out to find Stiles.

\-------

After another hour, Derek could tell Stiles’ restlessness was getting worse, as he couldn’t stop fidgeting with the radio every thirty seconds. In an attempt to find something to soothe Stiles’ uneasiness, Derek inquired about the several suitcases and boxes he managed to fit into the trunk and backseat. He glanced at Stiles before nodding to the boxes, “don’t you have anything to occupy yourself with back there?”

Stiles mentally ran through a list of everything he’d brought with him to the Airbnb he stayed in for his internship. At the bottom of one of the boxes was a game he’d picked up on a whim while shopping for his move called, _We’re Not Really Strangers_. Stiles was optimistic that he’d be able to make friends with the other interns and host game nights, but when he saw the video of Derek that first day, making new friends didn’t seem to matter much anymore. “Well, I do actually have this game…” Stiles paused for a moment; would Derek really be willing to play a game with him? 

Before Stiles could inquire further, Derek asked “Like a Gameboy game?”

Stiles immediately turned to face him, “A Gameboy game? Seriously, dude, how old are you?” Derek looked annoyed and Stiles immediately regretted bringing up their ages. Contrary to popular belief, Stiles and Derek weren’t actually that far apart. Derek just turned 24. He’s just been through more in his lifetime than most, so, many people often assume that he’s a lot older.

Stiles sighed as he began rummaging through a box for the game, “The handheld console we use now is called a Switch, Derek.” Derek hummed disinterestedly. “But no, it’s actually a card game, but you need at least two people to play. You interested?”

“I’m driving, Stiles.”

Stiles rolled his eyes as he began to look at the instructions. “You can still play while you’re driving. It’s mostly just answering questions.” 

Derek considered this for a moment. Talking wasn’t exactly what he had in mind when he suggested Stiles find something to occupy himself with. But he does feel bad for him, and he can’t really take the constant switching of radio stations any longer. Derek knows that he’s worried about Scott and the pack and getting there in time to help. With Stiles riding shotgun, he’s got nothing to distract him. So, Derek gives in.

“Okay.”

Surprised, Stiles turns his head to Derek, “Really? Okay cool, yeah.” Stiles picks up the game and reads “ _We’re Not Really Strangers is a purpose driven card game and movement all about empowering meaningful connections. Three carefully crafted levels of questions and wildcards allow you to deepen your existing relationships and create new ones_.” 

The two of them remain silent for a moment. Derek silently curses to himself. Why couldn’t this have been a simple trivia game? Stiles probably loves trivia.

At the same time, Stiles gets nervous that Derek is about to change his mind. Deep and meaningful conversations are not exactly something Derek is known for – at least not with Stiles. When the older one doesn’t say anything, Stiles clears his throat and continues, “So, it looks pretty simple. For each level we just pick up the cards and ask each other the questions. I can start if you want?”

“Yeah, that works,” Derek replies reluctantly. 

Stiles picks up the first card and prepares to receive a flurry of insults as he asks Derek, “What about me intrigues you?”

Fucking hell Derek does not want to play this game. But he’s doing it for Stiles. What’s intriguing about him? Honestly, most things about Stiles intrigues Derek. _His incessant talking, his passion and dedication, his intelligence, his loyalty, his quick-witted sarcasm, and his ability to assess situations in ways others fail to_ , Derek thinks to himself. He pauses his thoughts to glance over at Stiles who is tapping his fingers against his knee awaiting a response. _His hands_ , he mentally adds to the list – and wait, what?! Since when does Derek think about Stiles’ hands? 

Realizing he’s probably taking too long, Derek replies flatly, “Your inability to stop talking.” 

Stiles eyes him curiously for a moment before chuckling. “Asshole.” 

Derek smirks. “Alright, what’s my card?”

Stiles holds up the next card for Derek. He reads the card quickly before returning his eyes to the road. 

“What was your first impression of me?” As soon as Derek says this aloud his mind jumps to _‘this is private property’_ flashbacks and the way Stiles just stood there silently, mouth agape. 

Stiles takes a moment to consider his response, much like Derek had. He’s not sure if Derek remembers the actual first time they met, and he’s never wanted to bring it up for fear of causing Derek to relive some of his most painful memories. The point of the game is to be open and honest though, right?

Stiles takes a deep breath in before responding. “I don’t know if you remember this, but I was actually 11 years old when we met.” Shocked, Derek glanced at the man sitting next to him. Surely, he would’ve remembered meeting Stiles before the woods. Wouldn’t he?

Stiles continued, “It was the night of the fire. My dad wasn’t supposed to work that night, but it was all-hands-on-deck after the reports came in. Dad didn’t want me home alone until he knew what was going on, so he brought me with him. I remember seeing you and Laura sitting outside of his office.” Stiles paused and glanced at Derek, whose knuckles seemed to be gripping the steering wheel just a bit tighter than before.

Stiles shook his head before adding, “You just looked completely shattered sitting on that bench. I didn’t fully understand what happened to you at the time, but I knew that look. I knew that you had lost your family. My mom had been gone almost three years by then, and I knew you had just lost a piece of yourself that you’d never fully get back. You were hurting, and nothing would really ever fix that.” He glanced back at the older man, “Part of me wanted to do something to make you smile, even just for one second, but I didn’t want to annoy you or make anything worse so I kept to myself.”

Slightly shocked he admitted that out loud, Stiles turned to Derek again, who had remained silent. Derek turned to him, eyes slightly glossy, and the two made eye contact briefly. Though nothing else was said, there seemed to be a certain understanding between them in that moment. Derek finally nodded at Stiles before returning his attention to the road ahead. 

Stiles remained silent, as he didn’t want to risk fucking up this moment. After a few minutes of semi-awkward silence, Derek finally cleared his throat before speaking, “So, what’s the next card?”

Right, back to the game. Stiles scrambled to find the next card. “Okay, so for the third card in each level we both answer it. This one says, _‘Make an assumption about me.’_ Do you want me to go first or you?”

Derek was thankful for an easy one. “No, this one’s pretty simple, I’ll go first.” Stiles nodded in agreement. 

“My assumption about you is that Scott is your best friend.” Pleased with his answer, Derek glanced over to Stiles for confirmation, but he actually found the boy looking quite torn.

“Well, uh, a few years ago I would’ve agreed with you, but I’m not so sure about that one anymore. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love Scotty, but he’s had a lot going on and we haven’t exactly been the best of friends to each other lately.”

“You’ve had a lot going on too, Stiles”

“I know, I know. Things are just different now. I honestly think that Lydia is probably my best friend since we’ve worked out the whole ‘I love you but I’m not _in love_ with you’ thing, and let me tell you, that was a rollercoaster of emotions.” 

Huh. So Stiles and Lydia weren’t together anymore. Derek thought for sure that they’d make it. He quickly pushed down his odd sense of relief and hope that suddenly overwhelmed him. “I’m sorry that never worked out for you,” Derek replied sincerely.

“Eh, don’t be. We’re better off as friends anyway.” Stiles said nonchalantly. Truth is, it came as a bit of a surprise to Stiles and Lydia when they found their relationship to be lackluster. Though they both have a strong emotional connection to one another, there doesn’t seem to be as much romance there as they once thought.

“Okay, my turn!” What does Stiles assume about Derek? After thinking for a moment, Stiles got an idea to inquire about something he’s always wanted to know the answer to but was too scared to ever bring up. “My assumption about Derek Hale is that he’s not straight.”

Derek chokes and has to stop himself from swerving off the road and nearly killing them both. He was NOT expecting that to come out of Stiles’ mouth. Why did he assume that? HOW did he assume that? Derek’s never brought up questioning his sexuality with anyone before, let alone Stiles. 

After recouping from the swerve, Stiles starts getting anxious that he’s pushed too far, something he too often does. Stiles meets Derek’s stunned expression with “Hey, Derek really, we don’t have to talk about this. I’m sorry I brought it up.”

A few seconds pass before Derek realizes he still hasn’t spoken yet. I mean it’s not that he doesn’t want to talk about it. It’s just that he’s NEVER spoken about it. With anyone. So, all he can say is “How did you know?” 

Stiles realized this conversation isn’t turning out as playful as he thought it would. “Ah…Well, Peter may have made a few offhanded comments to me about you possibly not being 100% straight. I figured he was just being weird and trying to provoke a reaction out of me.”

Fucking Peter, Derek thought. Derek should have known his Uncle knew about this somehow. 

“But really, Derek, we don’t have to talk about this,” Stiles added fidgeting with his hands in his lap. 

But wait, “Why would that provoke a reaction out of you?” Derek’s brain is still trying to play catchup. 

Stiles’ eyes grew a little as he realized what Derek asked. Goddamnit. Why couldn’t he have just stopped at Peter saying something. “Oh! I mean I guess probably because Peter knows I’m bisexual – which, come to think of it, I never actually told him, he just somehow knew.” 

Huh. Derek didn’t know Stiles was bisexual. 

“So, um yeah, I guess he just figured it would be something I’d be interested in knowing,” Stiles finished with his eyes pointed towards his lap and a flush rising on his cheeks. How did assuming Derek’s sexuality turn into Stiles coming out himself? How did this completely backfire on him?

Realizing that Stiles probably now feels a bit awkward, Derek decides to reciprocate his candor while keeping his eyes focused ahead. “I don’t think I’m bisexual.”

Stiles picks his head up and turns to Derek.

“But I don’t think I’m straight either,” he confesses. Derek glances at Stiles and realizes the he’s probably interested in a bit more elaboration. Derek’s never put much effort into figuring it out before, but what the hell, it can’t hurt to finally talk about. “It’s not like a 50/50 thing. I mean I’m attracted to women and more femme people – I always have been – but I’m starting to think my sexuality is more fluid than I let myself realize. I’ve never said it out loud until now though.” 

Stiles seems to be nodding his head a bit, like he’s trying to come to terms with Derek’s confession. Maybe this wasn’t such a backfire after all. “You know, it’s not a 50/50 thing for me either. I’m okay with the bisexual label, but you don’t have to put a label on it just because other people do. It’s just something that I found helpful for me personally, but that’s just me.”

Derek contemplates this for a moment. “I think I’m okay with saying it’s fluid since I’m not sure any other label feels right.”

Stiles nods understandingly, “That’s totally cool, man.”

Fluid. Yeah. 

The two of them sit in silence for a few moments after their shared confessions. Stiles mentally congratulates himself for having a real conversation with Derek without being pushed up or shoved against a wall, though Stiles secretly misses this aspect of their dynamic. He’s also grateful that he didn’t accidentally blurt out his long-standing crush for the older man, a crush he now has to keep in check because, despite Derek’s interests being fluid, he couldn’t possibly be interested in Stiles. Right?


	2. Level 2 – Connection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the wait! I've had a lot going on but hopefully this update will make up for it! :) Again, a huge shout out to Megan for always being willing to talk Sterek with me and be my beta <3

After Stiles and Derek finished the first level of the game, there was only about three hours left until the boys arrived in Beacon Hills. Derek planned to keep driving all the way through with no interruptions, but Stiles’ hunger had a different plan.

“Derek, dude, I’m starving. Can we pleeeeeease stop for food?” Stiles begs.

“Don’t call me dude,” Derek grumbles automatically. “Plus, I told you to eat before we left.” 

Stiles whines. He intended to eat before they left, he really did. But he woke up late and had to scramble to check out of the motel on time. It was only after they got on the road that Stiles realized his mistake. 

He checks his bags for any emergency snacks but comes up short. 

“Emergency snacks?” Derek asks.

Stiles turns to him, “Yes, emergency snacks. And yes, I forgot to pack more.” He sighs. 

“We’re only three hours out,” Derek comments.

“That’s three whole hours, dude!” _Three whole hours of starvation_ , he thinks. “I’m going to starve.”

Derek glances over at the boy and can’t help it when a smile creeps over his face. “Anyone ever tell you you’re dramatic when you’re hungry?” he asks.

“All the time, Der bear,” Stiles replies cheekily.

Derek’s smile turns into a glare. “If I stop at the next rest stop for food, will you promise never to call me Der bear again?” he asks.

Stiles pretends to contemplate this. “I could be persuaded,” he says while winking at the older man. 

Derek shakes his head and laughs while turning towards the next exit. 

……….

“So,” Stiles says through a mouthful of curly fries, “ready for round 2?”

Derek raises one of his eyebrows at him from across the booth hoping to convey his disinterest. Stiles just shrugs in response. “Suit yourself,” he says before focusing right back on his food. 

The two sit there and eat in silence for a bit. Derek finds the silence comfortable though; it’s the kind that makes his wolf happy, he thinks. After finishing his food, he glances up at Stiles and notices he’s close to finishing as well. Derek feels himself relaxing in the comfortable silence with Stiles loudly chewing the remainder of his fries, and realizes they are only three hours away from the chaos and craziness that awaits them back in Beacon Hills. Derek isn’t looking forward to another fight against hunters, especially if they are being led by an Argent and his latest protégé. Wanting to enjoy the calm before the storm a little longer, he looks up at Stiles to bring up playing round two of the game. However, just as he’s about to suggest this, he finds himself becoming distracted by Stiles, who’s decided to lick each one of his fingers clean. It was obscene. _He’s obscene_ , he thinks, but he can’t bring himself to look away. How could something so gross be so attractive? He continues staring at Stiles’ hands before the boy glances up at him. 

Stiles looks up and catches the tail end of Derek staring at his mouth and fingers. _Huh. Interesting._ Maybe he just imagined Derek staring though, he thinks. Testing the waters, Stiles offers Derek a cheeky wink when the man finally meets his gaze again. He’s met with a rush of satisfaction as Derek’s ears immediately turn red. Clearing his throat, Derek asks, “So, round 2?” Stiles nods in response and pulls out the level 2 cards from his backpack while filing away the absolutely adorable image of Derek blushing. 

“Okay…What’s the most pain you’ve ever been in that wasn’t physical?” Stiles reads sheepishly, guilt creeping in as he guesses where this conversation is going. 

Derek curses to himself inwardly. Why couldn’t the round have started off simpler? He doesn’t talk about this stuff with anyone. Ever. He supposes that’s the point of this whole game, though. He senses Stiles growing noticeably anxious awaiting his response. He takes a moment to collect his thoughts. If he’s being honest with himself, he’s been in a constant state of emotional pain most of his life. Addressing the obvious, he begins, “There used to be a time when I thought nothing would ever come close to the pain of losing my family. But I made peace with a lot of that pain in New York, though, thanks to Laura.” God, he misses her. He just knows she’d love a game like this; one that causes actual reflection and connection.

He still has his moments though, when he gets filled with anger, sadness, and all-consuming pain at the losses. The moments happen less often than they used to, however. He realizes this honestly has lot to do with Stiles and Scott, and all of the other connections he made upon his return to Beacon Hills. He never imagined finding himself entangled in their lives when he came back to his hometown to find Laura. He never imagined how fiercely he'd feel the need to protect them, keep them shielded from the type of darkness that too often finds its way into the lives of the supernatural. 

Derek glances back up at the boy in front of him and can’t help but think about how he failed to do just that. The rush of guilt that rises in him prompts Derek to continue, “If I’m being completely honest, some of the worst pain I’ve felt since the fire, was when you were Void.” 

Shocked by his own admission, Derek averts his eyes and curses at himself. Why did he say that out loud? Especially to Stiles. 

Stiles just sits there, guilt ridden. He’s never thought about the pain he caused Derek when he was void. Stiles’ voice shakes a bit as he starts, “Derek, I…. I’m sorry. I know I caused so much pain. God, _I’m so sorry_ , Der –”

“Stiles – no. I was in pain _for you_ ,” Derek says desperately. This is the exact reason he’s never brought this up before. Stiles is clearly able to remember everything that happened – all the pain, suffering, and chaos the Nogitsune caused with Stiles’ hands – it’s all still so vivid for the boy, and Derek has never wanted to be the reason for Stiles to relive those moments. 

Stiles throws Derek a confused glance.

“I was at the hospital when you were getting the MRI scans,” Derek explains. “Later that night on the rooftop with Scott, I was able to feel every single one of your emotions.” Stiles gasps quietly before Derek continues, “I knew how much you had been fighting with yourself – fighting with him. I felt so helpless in that moment, Stiles. I wasn’t an alpha anymore. We weren’t exactly friends, so I wasn’t sure you’d want me to try to comfort you. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to save you.” 

Derek pauses and glances up at Stiles, waiting for his eyes to meet his. He needs Stiles to know how sincere he feels in this moment “When Argent suggested we kill you to stop the Nogitsune, I lost it. I couldn’t handle the thought of losing someone else, _I couldn’t handle losing you_. None of us could.”

The two sit there briefly, staring at each other while letting the confession sink in. Stiles isn’t sure how he’s feeling. The Nogitsune may have physically left his body a long time ago, but traces of the fox remain in his nightmares. He realizes that he never thought about Derek hurting throughout all of that. In the aftermath, so many of his thoughts had been consumed by Allison, Aidan, Scott, Lydia, and Argent. He didn’t know Derek had been at the hospital for him or on the rooftop with Scott. He didn’t know Derek could feel his emotions like that. He didn’t know Derek cared for him like that. He didn’t think Derek cared at all what happened to skinny, defenseless, Stiles. 

So many emotions flood through Stiles’ mind as he tries to wrap his head around the fact that Derek cares about him and not just in the begrudging stuck-saving-the-token-human kind of way. How long has he meant something to Derek other than being the annoying sidekick? 

Derek stares at Stiles and watches as an array of emotions scatter across his face. Derek nervously twists his fingers. Did he say too much? Should he have kept his response related to the fire, or Laura? He wishes Stiles would just say something. _Anything_. God, why did he agree to play this stupid game? He needs to try to lighten the mood, but dammit, that’s what Stiles is good at.

Derek clears his throat to get Stiles’ attention before adding, “I mean if you weren’t around, who would I save on a weekly basis? I need that hero validation at least twice a month.” 

Stiles offers Derek a small smile in return, knowing he’s just trying to relieve some of the emotional tension. Stiles stands up and grabs the empty soda cups and quickly goes to refill them, buying himself a little more time to get his feelings under control. If he’s not careful, he’ll let himself believe that the caring hasn’t been only one sided, and Derek Hale actually cares about him and has cared about him for years. 

…….

Walking back to the booth, Stiles’ mind backtracks to something Derek said earlier. As he slides back into his seat, he asks Derek, “So, can you really sense all of my emotions that strongly?”

“Sort of. It’s easier when the emotions are intense,” Derek explains.

Stiles laughs and says, “God, that’s so invasive.” 

Derek shrugs and adds, “You get used to it after a while.” Unsure if Stiles wants to continue the game, he asks “Do you want to keep playing or head back to the car?”

“No, I’m good, let’s finish out round 2,” Stiles replies. 

Derek nods and picks up the next card. “What is the most unexplainable thing that’s ever happened to you?” 

Stiles eyes go wide before laughing hysterically, and honestly, Derek can’t help but join him. 

“Wait, you mean like other than my best friend turning into a werewolf? Being paralyzed by a gigantic lizard who also happened to be Jackson? Ritually sacrificing myself to find my dad? Babysitting your teenage ass after Kate turned you back? The Dread Doctors? Being caught in the wild hunt? Successfully convincing the FBI to let me come, and save your ass again?” Stiles responds, reflecting on his past. He shakes his head but continues laughing quietly. None of the past three years are easily explained, but he’s determined to lighten up the rest of their conversation. However, this mindset only ends up making Stiles feel playful. 

“Actually, you know what, I change my mind,” he announces.

Amused, Derek tilts his head inviting Stiles to continue. 

“I still don’t know if I’m attractive to gay guys. Danny never told me,” he states, lifting his eyes to meet Derek’s. Stiles throws him another wink before smirking, subtly challenging him to respond.

Yes, Derek thinks automatically. He knows Stiles is challenging him to answer the question. He briefly considers laughing and brushing it off, but he still feels guilty about the heaviness of the first question. Plus, he’s tired of Stiles making him blush lately. What’s one more confession before they get back on the road? 

“Well I’m not gay, but I think I still qualify to answer that on Danny’s behalf,” he says, feeling bold. “Yes, Stiles, you are most definitely attractive to non-straight men.” 

Stiles immediately finds himself trying to suppress the blush rising on his cheeks. He didn’t actually expect Derek to answer him, let alone say _that_. Stiles isn’t sure how to respond to the man, but he manages to get out a shy, “Thanks, Der.”

And with that, Derek doesn’t actually regret his confession this time. Instead, he somehow finds himself wanting to see just how far down the flush on Stiles’ skin goes, which – wait, _when did he start thinking about Stiles like this_? Derek decides now is not the time to entertain that question. He clears his throat before asking, “So, what’s the last card?”

Stiles picks up the last card of the round. “Okay, so this one’s a wildcard. We have to have a staring contest, and the first one to blink has to reveal a personal problem and ask the other for advice on how to handle it,” he explains. 

“Alright, seems easy enough,” Derek replies. 

“Okay why don’t we start with our eyes closed, and then on the count of three we open them. That way we start at the exact same time,” Stiles suggests.

Derek nods in agreement and moves his gaze upwards so that his eyes meet Stiles’.

“Alright, close ‘em,” Stiles says before starting the count. 

1….2….3….Open

The two of them open their eyes and stare at one another. Stiles didn’t realize how intense it would feel staring into Derek’s eyes like this. He’s always thought the man was built like a Greek God, but he’s never been able to study Derek’s eyes up close like this before. _They’re absolutely beautiful_ , he comments to himself. 

Derek didn’t realize how intimate this whole thing would feel for him either. It only takes a couple few seconds for him to notice how difficult it is not to get distracted by the moles scattered across the boy’s pale face. Or the way his nose upturns slightly. Or his prominent cupid’s bow shaped lips. He can feel his wolf stirring inside of him, wanting to scream _mine_. Before Derek can gain control of his wolf, he feels his eyes flash blue.

The brilliant flash of blue is startling to Stiles, causing him to gasp and blink. “Hey, what the hell?! That’s cheating!”

“You still blinked first, Stiles,” Derek says flatly. He would much rather have Stiles think he cheated than have to explain why he lost control. _Fuck_.

Stiles glares at him but doesn’t push it. He actually has something he’s been wanting to talk about with someone, but he’s unsure who the right person is. 

“ _Fine_. I’ve been rethinking my career path and it’s stressing me out,” he states.

Derek raises an eyebrow at him, encouraging him to continue.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved being an FBI intern these past few months, but I don’t know if I can do that long term,” he explains. “If anything, this whole internship has just made me recognize how far away I truly am from everyone, especially my dad. I’m all he’s got, Derek.” Stiles starts fidgeting with his hands on the table before continuing, “And it’s not like being aware of the supernatural as an FBI agent is an easy feat – I mean, I had to convince _a lot of people_ to let me in on the field op to capture you. I don’t know how I’d make it farther up the food chain there without raising too many red flags…And I have to figure all of this out so I can decide where to go to school. Should I pick a school out in Virginia or D.C. and stay on an FBI track or should I pick one back home on the west coast to be closer to everyone? And if I stayed on the west coast, what would I do? I mean, a part of me has always wondered what it’d be like taking over as Sheriff after my dad retires, but I don’t know. _I just don’t know_ , Derek – ”

“Breathe, Stiles,” Derek interrupts. As much as he finds his incessant rambling endearing, he doesn’t want Stiles to have a panic attack. 

Stiles is thankful Derek cut in. He takes a deep breath in before continuing, “I just don’t know what to do, Derek. I don’t know what the right choice is.”

Derek looks at Stiles understandingly. Not knowing whether he’s making the right decision or not is a question he’s often faced. “Ultimately, I think it’s okay to not know right now. You’re only 18, and you’ve already dealt with far more than most at your age,” he starts. “And your dad – he’s so proud of you, Stiles, but he just wants you to be happy. Anyone can see that. I can’t tell you what the right decision is, but I can tell you that whatever you decide, we’ll all support you. Your dad, your pack, and me.” 

Stiles offers Derek a small smile, “I know you can’t make the decision for me, but I appreciate you hearing me out. I haven’t talked about this with anyone else yet. I just don’t want them to look at me like a flake or a failure if they think I’m making the wrong decision.”

Derek shakes his head and says, “Stiles, no one is going to think any less of you regardless of your decision. You’re the only who knows what’s best for you. And for what it’s worth, I know you’re going to be amazing at whatever you choose to do.”

 _Maybe the right person to talk about this with has always been Derek_ , he thinks. “I know. Thanks for hearing me out,” Stiles says. 

Derek nods in response. “Of course.”

……

Stiles is quiet for a few minutes after that. _Derek Hale is complicated_ , he decides. He’s never been so honest with Stiles before. He’s never shown such level of care. _Why now? What’s changed? Is it genuine?_ And if it is, _then why did Derek leave him a year ago and never look back?_

He shakes his head of those thoughts for the time being though. He can’t go down that rabbit hole right now. Plus, he knows they need to get back on the road to help Scott. He glances up at Derek before nodding his head back to the direction of the car, “You wanna get going?” he asks Derek. 

“Yeah we probably should,” Derek replies, fishing for the keys in his pocket before adding, “Hey Stiles, catch!”

Stiles catches the keys, eyes wide, and says, “Wait, seriously?!”

Derek nods and smiles at Stiles’ subsequent little victory dance. He’s definitely going to regret this decision, but the excitement exuberating from the boy makes his wolf happy.


	3. Level 3 - Reflection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but I'm REALLY excited about this chapter! For some reason it was a lot more enjoyable and fun to write than the last, which is probably why it turned about a bit longer than I originally intended. I hope ya'll enjoy! 
> 
> As always, a huge thank you to Megan for being my beta <3 (though she totally exudes alpha energy)

Letting Stiles drive the Camaro was not one of Derek’s better judgement calls. Not only has he had to listen to Stiles belt out the same Spice Girls song for the past twenty minutes, but his knuckles have started to turn white from tightly gripping the passenger seat whenever Stiles steps on the gas.

He still feels bad about bringing up the Nogitsune back at the rest stop, though. He didn’t intend to be so candid about his feelings, but something feels different between him and Stiles now. He doesn’t know what it is, but there’s a connection now.

Maybe the connection has always been there, he thinks, but they’ve never gotten the chance to really explore it until now. Derek can’t help the pang of guilt that creeps in as he thinks about how they possibly could’ve explored this sooner if he stayed in Beacon Hills. He shakes his head, not wanting to go down a rabbit hole of “what ifs.” All he knows is that Stiles feels like home now, but maybe he always has. Even in the midst of these uncomfortable truths shared between the two of them, he’s never felt more at peace with himself than he is when he’s with him.

He glances over at the boy and sees the excitement of driving the Camaro still evident on his face. He thinks back to the staring contest and how he’s never really let himself think about how beautiful Stiles is. He feels another wave of peace wash over him as he continues looking at him. He smiles. Okay, _maybe it wasn’t the worst call to make,_ he thinks _._

….

Stiles finishes his tenth astonishingly beautiful performance of _Wannabe_ before reaching for the controls to replay the song again. However, Derek slaps his hand away before he reaches the controls.

“Ow!” He glances over to Derek, “What?”

“You know what that was for,” Derek replies flatly.

The two sit there, silently challenging each other. Derek raises an eyebrow at him, and Stiles concedes.

Stiles sighs, focusing back on the road. He definitely does not think about the how much he loves Derek’s stupidly expressive eyebrows, or the last time Derek said that phrase to him. His head hurts a little just thinking about how it felt being slammed into his steering wheel. But he has no regrets, seeing Derek shirtless in his room with Danny had been life altering. He still can’t believe Derek is letting him drive the Camaro in the first place so he probably shouldn’t push his luck, and he definitely should stop thinking about a shirtless Derek before his scent gives something away.

It doesn’t take long before the silence is too much though. He starts tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. The tapping gets to be a bit excessive.

“ _Stiles_ ,” Derek pleads.

Stiles pouts. “I need something to entertain myself, Derek.”

“You’re driving,” he replies.

“We could put the CD back on and let the next song play instead,” Stiles suggests.

“Let me guess, it’s more Spice Girls?” Derek challenges.

“Of course not,” Stiles scoffs, “It’s One Direction.”

Derek shakes his head and grunts “Pass.”

Stiles just pouts more at the older man. _Who doesn’t like One Direction??_ he thinks outraged.

Derek sighs sensing Stiles’ displeasure.

“You wanna play the third round?” Derek asks silently hoping it will prevent Stiles from belting out _What Makes You Beautiful_ for the next hour.

Stiles thinks about this for a minute. He really feels like he took an emotional hit at the rest stop playing the second round of the game. He’s also surprised with Derek’s level of honesty and openness and the fact that Derek wants to continue playing. His curiosity gets the best of him. “Okay,” he says. He wants to know what else Derek Hale is willing to share with him.

Derek rummages through Stiles’ bag to get the cards. “You want to go first again?” he asks Stiles.

“Yeah, but you’ll have to hold the card up for me,” Stiles says.

Derek holds up the first card and Stiles asks Derek, “What do you think my weakness is?”

Stiles keeps his eyes on the road as he awaits Derek’s response. He assumes Derek will say something about him being the token human and always getting hurt or something.

“No, that’s actually not what I was going to say at all,” Derek states.

Startled, Stiles glances over at Derek. Surely, he hadn’t said that out loud?

“I actually think your humanity is a strength. I was going to say that I think your greatest weakness is the fact that you never recognize how amazing you are and all the things you do for others. You’re such an integral part of the pack, Stiles. Do you know how many times you singlehandedly saved everyone’s asses, including my own?”

Stiles blushes, remembering the swimming pool incident. He still doesn’t quite know how he managed to keep them from drowning. All he recalls thinking about is how he couldn’t let Derek die.

“You need to stand up for yourself more,” Derek continued, “and start acknowledging how phenomenal you are, Stiles. Not many people, supernatural or human, are able to do what you do.”

Stiles nods in response. “You know, I tried standing up for myself a lot, especially with Scott. It didn’t really work out though. He didn’t listen to me about Theo, and then it was too late.” Stiles grips the steering wheel a little tighter as his thoughts drift to Donovan. Derek doesn’t know about him yet, though. _A story for another time_ , he thinks.

“You know I would’ve believed you,” Derek adds, interrupting his thoughts.

Stile offers him a small smile, “I know you would’ve, big guy.” The unspoken _but you weren’t there_ hung in the air awkwardly between the two.

“Okay my turn,” Derek states, trying to not let his own guilt about leaving swallow him whole. “When this game is over, what will you remember about me?”

_Everything_ , Stiles thinks immediately. This game has changed so much between them already, and if he’s being honest with himself, he’s grateful for it.

Stiles, needing to break up the tension, smirks and responds, “Maybe that you’re not as sour as you used to be, Sourwolf.” Derek huffs out a small chuckle. Stiles continues more seriously, “And you pay attention and notice things more than I thought you did.” He pauses before adding, “And I think you actually care about me and we are _at least_ friends now.”

Derek turns his head to Stiles. “Of course I care about you, Stiles. And yeah, of course we’re friends.”

Stiles turns toward Derek and throws him a wink that causes Derek to blush. Making Derek blush may be among his new favorite things ever.

Stiles focuses back on the road and the two sit in a comfortable silence. He thinks back to his longstanding crush on the man beside him. There’s something different about that now. He may have been crushing on him for years, but something definitely feels different. Maybe it’s the fact that they’ve now had real, open conversations that didn’t just involve quick-witted sarcastic remarks or center around the horrible supernatural threats right in front of them. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s starting to think his care for Derek doesn’t go as unrequited as he once thought. Or maybe it’s the fact that they’ve been through so much, both together and separately. They share trauma and they understand grief in ways others shouldn’t have to. They fit together in the most nonsensical, yet totally undeniable way. _At least friends_ doesn’t feel quite right, but Stiles isn’t sure exactly what they are yet, and he thinks maybe that’s okay. 

….

They’re only a little over an hour out now from Beacon Hills when Derek thinks they should probably finish up the round.

“You wanna answer the last question?” Derek asks.

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Stiles replies.

Derek picks up the third card. “Okay, so this one we both answer again. What about me surprised you the most?”

Derek offers to respond first since Stiles had just answered the previous one. He clears his throat and says, “I know we’ve talked about this a little already, but I think what surprised me the most about you is the fact that you came to save me.”

“Aha, so you admit that I saved you!” Stiles says brightly, smiling like the Cheshire cat.

Derek just sighs and shakes his head before continuing, “I didn’t expect the day at the warehouse to turn south. If you hadn’t been there, I don’t know that I would’ve gotten out unscathed….And I know it took a lot for you to convince them to let you come on the field op. I don’t think anyone has put in that much effort for me before. I guess I’m just surprised you thought I was worth it.”

Derek moves his eyes to anywhere but Stiles, unsure of how the boy is going to respond. A few seconds of silence pass and Derek realizes that for once in his life, Stiles seems to be at a loss for words.

A few more seconds pass before Stiles finally speaks. “I know that saying a lot of people have wronged you in life is an understatement, but Derek, you are worth saving. Yeah you may be a bit intimidating at first, but you’re actually a total cinnamon roll.”

Derek quietly interrupts by muttering a confused, “Cinnamon roll?” under his breath.

Stiles rolls his eyes and clarifies, “You’re a big ole softy on the inside just like a cinnamon roll. You constantly put others before yourself. You have a huge martyr complex. You’re fiercely loyal, and secretly really intelligent. You’re stupidly stubborn, but also compassionate. You’re fucking gorgeous. And you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, but dammit, Derek Hale, **you are worth saving.** ”

He hears Stiles catch his breath before continuing. “When I found out that the FBI was after you, I couldn’t focus on anything else. I was constantly finding ways to tie everything back to saving you. I’m surprised they didn’t get suspicious, honestly, it was getting kind of ridiculous.” He hears Stiles sigh. “You’re not the same angry survivors’ guilt-ridden person you used to be, Der, and you still have so much to offer this world. So of course I came for you.”

Derek finally glances back over to Stiles. Throughout all of that, he never heard the boy’s heartbeat waver. There is so much to unpack from Stiles’ ramble, but he’ll analyze the rest later. The one phrase, _You are worth saving_ , stuck in his head as he repeats to himself. God, he honestly doesn’t know if he’s ever let himself think that, let alone believe it. But apparently Stiles does. Stiles Stilinski, the same spastic, overly sarcastic pain in the ass kid he met all those years ago, actually believes he’s worth saving.

And he knows this wasn’t the first time Stiles saved his life, but he was able to write off those other times with much greater ease. Something about this time feels different though, because this time, Stiles cared enough about him to go completely out of his way _for months_ to save him, potentially risking a career in the FBI to do it. As well as willingly jumping back into danger when he was finally safe and not facing a supernatural attack. He doesn’t quite know what to think of it, but Derek couldn’t be more grateful for the boy.

Derek isn’t sure what to say him, but Stiles’ confession seems to settle something deep inside of him. “Back at the warehouse, I uh, I actually caught your scent before I noticed anything off about what was happening. I don’t remember much else after that if I’m being honest. I just knew I had to find you.”

“You were able to catch my scent? Even though it’d been like a year since I saw you last? Do I smell awful or something?” Stiles asked.

“No, not at all! It’s hard to explain, but uh, when you entered the warehouse, it just smelt like home and I somehow knew it was you. My instincts kind of took over after that,” Derek revealed. Surprised by his own confession, Derek takes a moment to reflect on the implications of what he just said. He remembers the scent of home flooding the warehouse, but he never allowed himself to think about how that scent was actually coming Stiles. How had he not noticed that before?

Stiles remained silent with his head facing forward. Derek’s not sure what compelled him to share that with him, but by the many expressions that cross Stiles’ face, he’s unsure whether the implications are lost on him or if he should have shared what he just did.

….

Derek Hale is not only complicated, Stiles thinks, he’s also down right infuriating. How is he supposed to respond to something like that!? _It just smelt like home and I somehow knew it was you_ , he replays. What does that even mean?? Did Stiles’ scent just remind him of Beacon Hills or? Or what? He knows Derek admitted to caring about him but knowing that Derek not only caught his scent, but also that his scent smelt like home to the man was unnerving and confusing as hell.

Stiles realizes it’s his turn to answer the last question. After everything they’ve shared, Stiles knows he can’t end this game without asking Derek about this. It’s something he’s wanted to talk to him about for the last year.

Stiles glances over at Derek who cautiously shares a glance back at him. He clears his throat, gripping the steering wheel a bit tighter before opening up.

“What surprised me the most about you Derek Hale, is that you left. You just left. After Mexico, you packed up and left with Braedon, no less. We texted a little early on, but you quickly stopped answering me… And I’m still salty about that. And then Braedon came back without you, and still no explanation from you about your absence. I tried not to hold a grudge, and I know Argent couldn’t get a hold of you either, which rude, I should definitely be higher than Argent in your mind, it’s just. It’s just for a while there I thought you were dying, Derek. When you told me to find and save Scott, I thought I left you out there dying.” Stiles takes a shaky deep breath in before continuing, “And I’m so fucking glad you didn’t, but god, why were you such an asshole? If you really care about me, then how could you just leave me after all that and never look back?”

Stiles pauses, but knows a few tears are now falling from his eyes. He doesn’t care though. He needs answers, and he needs Derek to talk about this. He’s not sure he’s in any condition to keep driving while he’s this emotional though, so he pushes the turn signal and pulls off the road.

The two remain silent until Stiles puts the car in park. Derek meets his gaze with a pleading and broken expression feeling his insides clench with how heartbreaking it is to see Stiles so upset knowing it was his fault.

“Stiles,” he starts, “I. When we left for Mexico, I never expected to come back to Beacon Hills. I never even expected _to make it out alive_. After I evolved, I was just as shocked as everyone else, but I had to figure things out, and I couldn’t do that back in Beacon Hills. There were too many memories of all my mistakes.”

“I get that, Derek, I do, but you didn’t have to totally shut me out,” Stiles interjects. He sees Derek hang his head low after that.

“I know, Stiles, and I’m sorry, okay?! I’m so sorry. I just. I just didn’t see much reason to stay after everything with Peter, Erica, Boyd, Isaac, and even Cora. And it’s not that you weren’t worth staying for or keeping in touch with, it’s just. I didn’t think you’d _care_. You had Scott, Lydia, and Malia” Derek lifts his head to meet Stiles’ again. “I didn’t want to get in the way of your happiness and I didn’t think you’d really notice. But clearly I was wrong about that,” he adds.

“Of course I fucking noticed and cared, Derek,” Stiles spits out, furious.

“I know that _now_ , but I didn’t then. I thought maybe a clean break was better for everyone, that it’d make it easier not having to worry about _me_ ,” Derek says quietly.

Derek is unbelievable, Stiles thinks. “Worrying about you is basically like an obsession for me at this point, you know that.”

Derek sighs. “I see that now too, Stiles. But that’s why I said I was surprised you came to save me.”

Stiles can feel the fight leaving him. He doesn’t want to berate Derek, and as much as he hates it, he supposes he can see where the older man is coming from. It doesn’t mean he’s not salty about being shut out, but a part of him gets it. “You can’t keep being such a self-sacrificing idiot, Derek. You can’t put me through something like that again,” Stiles responds.

He sees Derek shake his head, “I won’t, I promise. I have no intention of doing that to you ever again, Stiles.”

Stiles can hear the sincerity in Derek’s voice. And he feels a bit of relief having finally talked about Derek’s absence, even if just to hear why things transpired the way they did.

He takes a moment to really look at Derek. God, he’s been so afraid of letting himself believe the man actually cares about him, but he’s starting to think that maybe he shouldn’t be so scared. That it might be okay to believe that Derek Hale cares for him like he cares for Derek. He smiles at this and notices a feeling bubbling in his chest. _Hope,_ he thinks.

Stiles figures there’s been enough silence and decides to lighten the mood. “Well I’m glad you don’t plan on doing that again because it would really suck to have to hunt you down and save your life oh so heroically again,” Stiles says with a smirk.

Derek scoffs remembering having to carry Stiles bridal style out of the warehouse, but smiles, and thinks about how he’d be willing to spend all his time making sure he never had to see Stiles crying like he just had.

Stiles smiles right back, and can’t help but think how content he’d be spending all his time making Derek smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go! I anticipate the next chapter being a lot shorter. I appreciate those who have stuck around through inconsistent updates!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this completely self-indulgent endeavor! I have the rest of the chapters outlined with notes, but I want to post as I go. This is my first real fic so all comments and suggestions are welcome! Hope you enjoy :)


End file.
